Talacious Displays of Wit

20 03 2010

Stepparent

21 February 2010 – Tala, after I explained to her what a stepparent is:

“Ah, like you and _____.”

The answer was a very quick and resounding “NO.”

“HELL NO” was the more accurate reaction, but I have learned to control my rather acidic tongue.

Becoming Woman

27 February 2010 – While scrubbing herself in the shower…

“I have hair here o…” (pointing at her legs)

“Okay, that’s nice.”

“I’m beginning to be like you!”

“Uh huh.”

“Oh my gosh! I’M BECOMING A WOMAN!”

Onning

01 March 2010 – Again, in the shower… Tala was dilly-dallying with getting on with her bath, and I was getting impatient.

“Tala, turn on the shower already!!!”

“It’s ONNING!!!!!!!!!!”

Right. Sounds like Tita Kay.

Tatay on Kris Aquino

08 March 2010 – Tatay, speaking about Kris Aquino:

“She is the word “showbiz” defined.”

That FLOORED me.

Kids on Butterflies

14 March 2010 – Zivv and Tala were tasked with packing away stuff in the bedroom. Gonzo lay still on the bed, wrapped in a blanket. When Tita Glenda asked him to help the other two pack up…

“I have to turn into a beautiful butterfly first.”

A few minutes later…

“Zivv, turn yourself into a cocoon so you can be a beautiful butterfly too.”

“Okay, sure, why not.”





Zivvcredulous Declarations #s 17 & 18

17 06 2009

Zivvcredulous Declarations #17

12 January 2009 – We got the exact opposite reply when we asked Tala the same questions.

Mommy: Is Mommy fat or sexy?
Zivv: Fat.
Mommy: How about Tita Koko.
Zivv: Sexy.

Zivvcredulous Declarations #18

13 June 2009 – Sent in by Mommy.

Zivv: What’s his name?
Daddy: I don’t know.
Zivv: What’s his name?
Daddy (agitated): I DON’T KNOW!
Zivv: Ok… So what’s his name?





Zivvcredulous Declarations #s 15 & 16

5 01 2009

Zivvcredulous Declarations #15

A mother’s woes:

Late na. Gising pa anak ko. (It was late and my son was still awake.)

Sabi ko (I said), ‘I’m watching you.’

Antipatikong bata! (My ability to translate only goes so far.) Sagot ba naman (He answered),

‘I’m not a TV.’

Zivvcredulous Declarations #16

19 December 2008 – While hanging out at home after Simbang Gabi in celebration of Lola Mama’s birthday. We had mats strewn all over the living room floor so that the mothers can sleep while their respective children refused to.

Mommy: Zivv, can you lambing (cuddle with) Tala?
Zivv: (stretches his arm to hug Tala who was lying down beside him)
Mommy: How about Tita Koko, can you lambing her?
Zivv: No. Too big.

Thank you, o honest nephew of mine.





Zivvcredulous Declarations #s 13 & 14

18 12 2008

Zivvcredulous Declarations #14

Zivv: Mommy can I, can I?
Mommy: Can you what?
Zivv: Help me. What’s the house of the food?
Mommy: Grocery?
Zivv: Yes! Can I go with you to the grocery?

Zivvcredulous Declarations #13

Driving home with Zivv in tow, I was zigzagging on the street while he was climbing all over the car.

Tita Koko: Anak, you have to sit down. Don’t distract the driver.
Zivv: You’re not a driver. You’re Tita Koko.

Onga naman.





Zivvcredulous Declarations #s 11 and 12

9 12 2008

Zivvcredulous Declarations #11

It was early morning, and because he has our blood, Zivv was taking his sweet time getting up from bed. Mommy was getting impatient. To appease her, Zivv gave her this assurance:

“Wait lang, Mommy ha. Loading pa e.”

Robocop?

Zivvcredulous Declarations #12

On separate occasions Daddy and Mommy asked Z “How was school today?”

Both times he answered “Today is Monday.”





Zivvcredulous Declarations #s 8, 9 & 10

12 10 2008

Zivvcredulous Declarations #8

Mommy walked from Valero to Ayala, took the train to Santolan, and walked again all the way to O.B. Montessori in Greenhills then back the route again going to their house near Boni station, just to give Zivv the train ride he’d been wishing for.

Mommy: Are you happy we took the train?
Zivv: Yes, Mommy. Choose you like, Mommy or Tita?
Mommy: Who do you like, Mommy or Tita?
Zivv: Tita! Tita only. Tita Koko next time, okay?

Yes. Tita Koko is the best train ride companion ever! Whoohoo!!!

Zivvcredulous Declarations #9

Zivv: Daddy, be quiet. You’re noisy.
Mom: I concur!
Zivv: I’m a boy!

Zivvcredulous Declarations #10

Zivv enumerating the boys in his life: Daddy, Papa, Papa Leb, Tatay and TITA KOKO! Ü





Zivvcredulous Declarations #7

25 07 2008

Mommy: Am I your best friend?
Zivv: No.
Mommy: Who’s your best friend?
Zivv: Tala.
Mommy: In school?
Zivv: SAN MIGUEL.

Starting early, aren’t we, Pogs? In fairness, he does have a friend in school named Miguel.





Zivvcredulous Declarations #6

3 07 2008

Pogs was telling Mommy about his day, explaining why he had egg stain on his shirt.

Zivv: Kasi be careful. Kasi I don’t listen Teacher. I’m noisy. (All said with his sly, extremely attractive smile. Moms of female children beware.)
Mommy: Would you like to take a nap before playing?
Zivv: I can’t hear us.
Mommy: Are you deaf?
Zivv: Yes.





Zivvcredulous Declarations #5

12 06 2008

It was Zivv’s first day at school yesterday!

Mom: You did well in school today and I’m so proud of you, babe. That’s your gift for mommy.
Zivv: Where’s Zivv’s gift?

Well, he does make a point.





Zivvcredulous Declarations #4

6 06 2008

Sent by Zivv’s mommy Kara at 11:40 last night:

Hay, galit na naman sa amin anak namin. (Our son is mad at us again.)

“I’m upset! I’m not happy anymore! I’M SAD ANYMORE!!!”








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